Suddenly, all we hear is “When are you getting married?”
It comes in many different phrases:
“Are you getting married?”
“Are you going to marry her/him?”
“No marriage yet?”
“Has he proposed?”
“Are you/Is he going to propose?”
“You’re going to marry him/her, right?”
“Will you live together before you get married?”
And the list could go on, actually.
So, what I am wondering is, why all of a sudden? We’re hearing it once almost daily and have been for about a month. Just today, his Dad asked him about it and my building manager asked me.
My manager said to me, in his thick Russian accent, “Allison, hello! Are you proposed?” (Mind you, I haven’t seen him in a while.)
I replied that, no, I am not proposed. And he said, “You have good boyfriend?”
And I said yes, I do. To which he asked, “And he works?”
Well, yes, of course. So he said, “Well, then you must get married. He is the same age as you? (I nod) Well, then, you must get going. For kids. You can’t wait.”
I told him I needed five years. And he said, “NO! not five years. Oh no.”
At this I told him it was good to see him and went in for my leftover, Chinese food dinner.
So, why is it that you hit a certain length of time of being together and suddenly everyone assumes it’s right around the corner?
For those of you who are married, did you discuss the hard questions before you got engaged or after? What did you talk about? Why did you wait or not wait long into your relationship before you got engaged?
Tell, me what were the circumstances surrounding your engagement? What would you do the same and what would be different? I’m not talking about your wedding or the planning of it, I’m asking about the preparation you did for your marriage.
OHHH! I want people to answer this too! New York provides a bit of a curtain from the insistent engaged question – but every time we leave NYC – the question looms over us…
This is mean, but effective. When someone asks you, reply with, “When are you going to have a baby?” Or, “When are you going to get a job?” Or some other type of equally intrusive question that hits on a life choice that the other person is near making.
So, coming from a wonderful set of parents who are both on their third marriage, and happier than I’ve seen them, I view myself as an expert on marriages… [wink]. But kind of true.
I have decided the following: I don’t think you ever know where life is going to take you, and what sorts of things are going to happen to you… I think you just have to find someone who you love, respect, cherish, value… And then… I think you just jump on board, hold on tight, and pray that you continue to grow together through the adventures of life.
Kevin and I are FAR closer today and know each other FAR more than we did on our engagement day, on our wedding day… and it makes me love him FAR more, and I look forward to the future adventures that we will share together.
So… since you asked… I think… it comes down to making an educated decision, and then a little bit of luck and faith.