It’s been some time since I posted a real pregnancy update and I have to admit it’s because I haven’t really been up to having my photo taken very much because I haven’t been feeling very cute, to be honest. Since I work in the field of women’s body image empowerment, you’d think I’d be able to take care of my own insecurities, but alas, I haven’t found it to be easy. The physical challenges of pregnancy have not come as a surprise, however, being pregnant has been more challenging for me emotionally than I ever expected…
BUT, in the interest of honest sharing with those of you close enough to me to know about and read this blog, here it is, a belly photo at 31 weeks, with no make-up and wearing my glasses. I’m feeling very – tight in the belly – and I have begun the pregnant woman waddle, which makes me laugh. I’ve gained about 20 lbs. Baby K is still squirming a lot and his dancing has started to feel stronger as he grows. His little jabs often startle me and give me pause, which is fun. My stuffy sinuses continue to be stuffy and make for a persistent and super-attractive red spot under my nose from the frequent blowing. It’s hott.
Sleeping can be a production, with a regular pillow between my legs to ease hip soreness and my pregnancy wedge pillow supporting my belly. I was successful at making it through a couple of very anxiety-filled weeks a little while ago where I questioned all my choices about doctor, hospital, doula – everything. I finally came to understand that I was simply just scared and nervous about labor, delivery and the change of becoming a mother. There is a lot to process. I have since made peace with my decisions and begun to stare my fear of the unknown in the face and learn to accept what is out of my control. So, in essence, parenting lesson #1, right? {smile}
I have continued to teach my classes (with modifications, of course) and will be a couple of days away from 32 weeks when I teach my last class this Thursday. I am sad to step away from the classroom since the 6 hours I spend teaching each week might just be my favorite, even when I’m exhausted. But, my body is telling me it’s time to stop and so I’ll enjoy the free time to go to some more peaceful prenatal yoga.
I am very much looking forward to my maternity leave as I think much of my distraction and anxiety lately has been coming from the office side of my job, where it feels like there is some denial about my impending absence. Instead of transitioning things off of my plate, it seems I keep getting new (and big) things added to my plate. I am doing my best to remain positive and be a team player, but it doesn’t make sense to me and exhausts me fully. Every day around 4pm my pregnancy brain kicks in. Ha ha. My real desire is to check out completely, but that wouldn’t be very professional of me, I know. My last day at work is at the end of January, about 2 weeks before my due date. Yay! I’m excited to have some personal time for nesting and relaxation.
In my second trimester I wanted to eat all the time. Baby K still liked beef and milk and developed a strong love of chocolate chip cookies. Now, in my third trimester, I don’t feel like eating and nothing sounds good, but don’t worry, I am indeed eating. My biggest craving these days, if I have one, is for fresh greens.
My favorite thing is still to feel my sweet baby-boy moving all the time. I love him more than words can say and I can’t wait for him to be in my arms. I spend time daydreaming about what and who he will look like and talk to him about everything. I think he likes it when I rub my belly briskly in a circle or gently pat him through the womb. He already brings me joy and fills me with love; I can’t imagine what it will feel like when he arrives in the flesh.
Finally, I leave you with my favorite image – I wish I had it on a maternity t-shirt…
🙂
60 days to go!
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