motivation: noun: something that motivates; inducement; incentive

motivate: verb: to provide with a motive; incite; impel
motive: noun: the goal or object of a person’s actions

When lost, how does one find it, this motivation? I have never truly understood what it meant to feel unmotivated. I understood it mentally and imagined what it must feel like, but I had no idea that, for me, to feel unmotivated would feel like such an existential crisis.

burn-out: noun: fatigue, frustration, or apathy resulting from prolonged stress, overwork, or intense activity

Um…yes.

I woke up this morning with my alarm only to feel that a mini-migraine (you know, a headache with nausea) was pulsing in my head. I pressed snooze and endured the pain in my head without rising for some ibuprofen. Nine minutes later, my alarm indicated that it was really time to get up, but the headache felt worse. Again, snooze. Another nine minutes. Snooze number three. Now I was 27 minutes behind and I had no urgency to rise. Instead I turned the alarm off, rolled over and went back to sleep. I finally awoke again to find that it was 9:30am…and we all know that a work day starts earlier than that. I rose from the soft safety of my bed and made no effort to contact anyone from work. I calmly fed Marceau, poured a bowl of cereal and sat quietly.

Now, an hour later, here I am. I still haven’t alerted anyone at work that I may or may not be in or checked my blackberry to see if anyone needs anything. I still haven’t taken a shower or thought about what to wear today. I just cannot motivate myself to get going.

Burn-out? I would say so…