Category Archives: baby k

our house: the nursery

baby k, home decor, house tour

Some readers of this blog have asked for photos of our house. I finally feel like a couple of the rooms are put together enough to share. Jack’s room is the most finished, so here is my big nursery reveal! Some moms do it before the baby arrives, other moms do it ten months after. Heh.

Here is one side of his room, showing the crib, storage trunk and hanging shelf…

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Here is a detailed photo of the hanging wall shelf…

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Here is the other side of the room, showing the changing table, rocking chair, storage items & wall art…

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And finally, the window, the curtain for which isn’t completely finished yet…

windows (with unfinished curtains)

The curtains are sewn from the fabrics I’ve used from Jack’s weekly photos.

The only thing left to do in this room is hem and line the curtains and paint the walls a nice shade of blue.

I didn’t set out to design a red, yellow and blue room, but the things just started to come together that way and I am happy with how it turned out!
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our january surprise

baby k, motherhood, pregnancy

At 4:54pm on January 26, 2012 our boy, Jack Lawrence, arrived almost three weeks early weighing 6 pounds, 9 ounces and measuring 18 inches long…

He is adorable, smart, brave and patient and keeps getting compliments on his beautiful head. Here is our detailed birth story…

Jack arrived by caesarean birth due to my ever-increasing high blood pressure. On Thursday morning, I went for a normal, weekly check-up, but my blood pressure had gotten progressively higher over 3 appointments, and on that morning was reading uncomfortably high. I’ll never forget how quiet and thoughtful my doctor got as he decided how to proceed…

Since I was still working (with just two days left before an intended 2-week nesting break), he said, “Ok, why don’t we make yesterday your last day; we’ll have you stop working, rest, and you’ll come back and see me again tomorrow afternoon. The great news is that you’re 37 weeks and so baby is full term, but I’d like to see if we can get a few more days before we consider induction”. I remember replying very calmly, “Ok”, but inside I was thinking, “WHAT!?”. Even though I was otherwise asymptomatic for Pre-eclampsia or gestational hypertension, my doctor decided to send me to labor and delivery right then for an ultrasound and a non-stress test for baby and ongoing blood pressure monitoring for me. My doctor, R and I all expected the hospital visit to be a precaution, but after some monitoring showed my blood pressure was increasing despite medication to lower it, they finally told me, “You’re not leaving here today without delivering your baby”.

Those words rang out so loud, it was stunning and unbelievable. Unfortunately, at 37+3 weeks pregnant, I wasn’t dialated at all, so inducing labor would have been a major, uphill battle paired with my rising blood pressure. My nurse even said to me, “usually I am all for supporting a woman in her choice to labor naturally and birth vaginally, but honey, even with an epidural, pain causes spikes in blood pressure and you can’t afford to have those right now.”

Suddenly, all the labor preparation I had been doing with R was unnecessary and I was having surgery. Thus the caesarean I had been really hoping to avoid. I cried and R held my hand and told me I was brave.

Once it had been decided to move forward with the caesarean delivery I went through every emotion: laughter (at the fact that I had no hospital bag and I arrived at the hospital in a “cute outfit”), tears (as I accepted the method with which I would give birth), anger (at the idea of the method with which I would give birth), disappointment, elation, curiosity, fear, surprise, shock, denial, exhaustion, worry, excitement, etc, etc, etc. And my husband, bless him, was so present with me for all of it.

While this is not an attractive photo of me, it begs to be included because it shows that I was trying my hardest to wrap some things up at work with my phone while being prepped for surgery. I think you can see every emotion mentioned above in this photo…

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Once the time came to get things started, R changed into his awesome surgery outfit, which I specifically requested him to capture a photo of, and he did…

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My nurse, Jenny, was amazing and talked me through every step of the prep process so that I could stay on top of what to expect. Having never had any surgery before, I admit I was slightly terrified. Without my magically supportive husband, it all might have been too much. However, despite being petrified, when they allowed R to join me in the OR and he wanted to take my picture, I tried to keep my sense of humor…

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My experience in the surgery was painless, reminding me that my imagination is powerful and the whole caesarean birth went by more quickly than I expected. Not too long after my lower body went numb, I heard a loud cry at which time, R reached his camera up and over the blue curtain and captured this amazing photo…
(don’t worry, not too graphic)

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Then, the assisting doctor came around the blue curtain and showed us our boy for the first time. This was my first view of Jack Lawrence, which I will never forget…

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R went with Jack to get cleaned up and to help cut the cord. He cried intensely with his strong little lungs and I listened with joy over his being healthy…

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Finally, after he was swaddled up tight, R brought Jack over and we had some divine first moments of family…

This photo might just be my favorite of all time!

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And R, or somebody, did an amazing job of capturing my first kisses with Jack

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After surgery, I was wheeled into the recovery room to wait for feeling to return to my lower body and pretty soon, here came my husband and my son. Here I am getting to hold my boy for the first time. It was intense love at first touch…

and to my surprise, my sweet boy arrives early

I love you, RJ, my husband, and Jack-boy, my son. You are my everything.
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on pregnancy: 36/37 weeks

baby k, pregnancy

Here I am on January 16th, at 36 weeks pregnant…

36 weeks

But now I am 37 weeks pregnant and I am feeling relatively well! I have developed some carpal tunnel in my hands, which I do not appreciate. It makes gripping things rather uncomfortable. And then, of course, the normal tiredness of late pregnancy. Oh, and spacey, very uncharacteristically head-in-the-clouds spacey.

I’m still loving and craving kale any way I can get it: salad, sauteed, crispy…yum. And I’m back to having a hankering for chocolate chip cookies. And milk.

I only have 3 work-days left before my maternity leave (though I’ve already been asked to “come in, just for, like, an hour next week to help with…” – yes, seriously). I still have several tasks to complete before Friday, but things are wrapping up well so I can leave without worry or stress. Hip hip hooray.

Baby JLK is still squirming and we got to see him again in our final ultrasound last Friday. We’ll learn more about his weight estimates at my appointment this week. The best thing was during our ultrasound when I asked a question that prompted the ultrasound tech to show us lil bub’s face from the front. Suddenly, this adorable, squished, little face appeared on the screen. My lord, we saw his tiny, perfect lips, sweet nose and the roundest cheeks – it was amazing!

Our baby preparedness is as follows:
~ I washed some important items and chose Baby K’s “coming home” outfit.
~ The cradle is ready to go with a clean sheet and baby monitor nearby.

ready, set, cradle & baby book

~ We installed the car seat and will be getting it inspected this week.
~ We have yet to pack a hospital bag. (I don’t think this little bub is in a rush to exit)
~ We took two baby-prep classes last week: Intro to Breastfeeding & Childbirth Prep

Both classes were great, but the childbirth class was so valuable. R is going to make an amazing and supportive labor partner. He really is the best and I’m so grateful to have him. We left the class excited for the unpredictable nature of what’s to come and ready for the adventure!

In honor of my excitement about baby boy’s arrival, I had my toes painted blue.
This is my 37 week photo…

baby blue toes in anticipation of baby boy's arrival

Under 20 days to due-date, February 12th! What is your arrival date prediction?
~R thinks February 14th
~I think February 16th
~My Mom (Gma B) thinks February 1st
~My Dad (Gpa B) thinks February 14th
~LBM thinks February 18th
~Aunt Pam thinks February 7th
~KO-W thinks February 13th
~Erica thinks February 7th
~Aunt Susan thinks March 6th
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dear jack (6 weeks to go)

baby k, dear jack

Dear Jack,

It has been my intention for several weeks now to write to you before you arrive in the flesh. I want to share with you my experience of being pregnant and my excitement in anticipation of your arrival.

Today, January 4, 2012, you have been a sweet passenger in my belly for almost 8 months, growing from the size of a sesame seed (when I first learned of your presence) to a cantaloupe (this week).

You are and have been an active, squirmy boy since the first time we saw you via ultrasound. I love feeling you move because I imagine that you’re telling me you’re happy and healthy. I could sit all day long watching and feeling you move and wiggle – it brings me such joy.

Your Dad likes to talk to you by pressing his mouth up next to my belly button “so you can hear him” and often says the same thing each time: “Hi, it’s your daddy, how ya doin’ in there?” or sometimes “Whatcha doin’ in there?” and when you respond to him with a tiny bump or kick he laughs with delight. You have a fabulous Dad, wait until you meet him – I think you’ll love him as much as I do.

Over the holiday season I spent time thinking of things I want to be sure you experience within our family. Here is a free-flow list of words that represent my vision for our family life as you develop and grow:

strong
OPEN
present
fun
love
nurture
teach.
listen
guide
create
protect without hindering
traditions
explore!
dance.
accepting
wonder
curious
conversation
sharing
family connection
play!
reflection
adventure
compassion
humor
activities
time
home
travel
simple pleasures
trust
hugs
adaptability
imagination
listening
honesty
humor
dance
openness
breathing
self-care
healthy habits
fun
love!
smiles
hugs
honesty
trust.
traditions
spirituality
books
knowledge
magic
acceptance
beautiful world
nature
adventure
hugging
involvement
presence
celebration!
soothing

You will probably notice that several words repeat and I suppose those are the words that resonate with me the most during this time before your birth. I want so much to allow you the space to become exactly who you are meant to be and provide you with a home in which to thrive as an individual. I am already proud of you and can’t wait to meet you.

A friend of mine who is a pre- and peri-natal psychologist, shared with me the notion that babies and Mamas choose one another; that the spirit of you, Jack-boy, chose me.

In a book called I Chose You To Be My Mommy, a 3 year old boy explains his pre-birth memory (translated by an adult from Japanese) and his Mother responds. Here is the quote:

It was dark inside Mommy’s tummy, but it was warm, and I was swimming.
I couldn’t wait to see Mommy.
When I was born it was too bright.
When it’s time to be born somebody will let you know, “Now you can go”.
I couldn’t wait for Mommy to hold me (in her arms), but I was in a glass box.
There were many kids in that country over there, and we were watching from up above, saying, “that mommy looks pretty and kind,” and things like that.
I made friends with some other boys, there were 3 of us.
We all thought it’d be nice to go to Mommy’s place, and I came to you Mommy. I picked you because you are kind.

The mom explains, from the time he started to talk until he was about 4 years old, he used to tell me this all the time. I was surprised because he couldn’t have known that he had been in an infant incubator for several hours after his birth. He often talked about 3 boys even before our younger son was born, and I really ended up having 3 sons.

I love this beautiful idea that you, my son, chose me to be your Mother and while I may never know why you chose me, I want you to know that it is my honor that you did so. I look forward to our adventures together. And so does your Daddy.

I anxiously await your arrival.
With love,
Mom
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