Category Archives: journal

and it was all yellow

journal, new paths

In my ongoing search for inspiration in new things, I have found that the color yellow is following me around, calling my name from behind, desperately trying to get my attention in order to get me to pause and take her in.

I have to say that yellow has not always been my favorite color, unless it’s a very soft shade of lemon butter. Perhaps this is because wearing the color yellow makes me look ill.

I believe that there are subtle ways in which the universe communicates to us and I believe now that perhaps the color yellow is representative of something that is presently missing in my life. There is too much yellow communication yelling at me to ignore it.

At it’s best, yellow is powerful, light, warm and hopeful…the color of *lemons*.

Today I have an exciting day ahead of me, with a list of things to accomplish, some friends to have lunch with, ways to take care of myself and the possibility that a new path is just around the bend…
*

joy

journal, what's the meaning of the word

Shhhhhhhhhh. Don’t tell anyone, but I feel so happy! I don’t know what happened, but I’m finding it rather concerning, this strange sense of mirth. I feel rather light and giddy inside. The corners of my mouth tickle upward. It happened sometime between Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday evening and the symptoms are still present this morning. I am beginning to worry that I may have picked up a little *joy* somewhere…

joy: noun: an expression or display of glad feeling; festive gaiety; a state of happiness or felicity.

I found joy in the classroom with my students.
I found joy in my my yoga practice.
I found joy in my continually successful attempts at packing lunches.
I found joy in love.
I found joy in my life journey.
I found joy in my family.
I found joy in the purring of my cat.
I found joy in acting class.
I found joy in the sunshine.
I found joy in my friends both near and far.
I found joy in taking better control over my own existence.

I am re-emerging. Hopeful and positive. Me.

I’ve been reminded that joy is everywhere when you are open to receiving it!
*

bright, early & gentle

journal, practice

Yesterday, in keeping with my goal, I woke up at 5:30am and went to a morning yoga class. Not only did I make it to yoga by 7am, but I made it out the door with my lunch in tow. This was day eight in my plan to create new habits.

The yoga teacher ended class by saying “Be gentle with yourself and others today”, so I took it to heart and did my best to remain gentle on the inside and out all day long. I love this notion of being gentle ~ instead of the usual empty offerings like “Don’t worry” or “Let it go”. Being gentle allowed for all kinds of emotions within it, yet reminded me to stay grounded and generous in the chaos.

I also had dinner with a dear friend and ex co-worker who probably epitomizes what it is to be gentle. Her wisdom and calm always has a way of making me feel better. I think she might be the best listener I’ve ever met ~ the kind of listener I strive to be. I really think listening is the best gift someone can give a friend. She listened to me for a long time and then asked me a question which allowed me to see things more clearly and which confirmed that my plan for change is the right thing to do.

So, because it has helped to keep me calm, I offer it to you also: Be gentle with yourself and others today.

habitual behavior

journal, practice, what's the meaning of the word

A yoga teacher said to me, “It takes 30 days for something to become habitual”…

habit: noun: an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary

This past week I have taken a few steps toward creating new habits. I’ve attempted both new practices in the past and failed, but because of my current, desperate need for change {Yes I Can}, I was more successful this week than ever before and I feel better today than I have in awhile.

First, after today, I will have only eaten five meals out this week! You may remember my many attempts at making meals at home in the past, only to last about a day and a half before caving in. I was seriously going to Starbucks every day for something in the morning, out around my office for lunch and then out for dinner ~ every day. As you can imagine, this is not only expensive, but it doesn’t always lend itself to healthy choices. Seven days down, only 23 to go before this becomes a regular part of my life. Hooray! I am anxious to compare my food budget this month to past months and see if it really does save me money. Fingers crossed.

Second, I am going to yoga. I am going to yoga. I am going to yoga. I joined the somewhat corporate style yoga studio, Yoga Works, against my initial resistance. My yogi friends warned me against it for it’s somewhat detached style of teaching yoga {meaning: lacking in the deeper spiritual side to a yoga practice}, but I went to a beginner class on Friday evening and found it to be restful and very helpful with proper alignment. I can feel a little detachment, but I decided I can go to a smaller, more traditional yoga studio once per week for my dose of the spiritual. What I need right now is actually to re-learn the proper poses and get adjusted when necessary. Once I have the foundation back in my body, then perhaps I can find a class with a deeper connection, but the new student special was too good to pass up: $30 for 2 weeks of unlimited class, a free consultation with a yoga advisor to help create a personalized yoga practice and a year’s subscription to Yoga Journal magazine. I sort of couldn’t resist, because I’m making a plan for change. I’m very excited and guess what!? I feel motivated to make my plan come true…

I am grateful for the words of support and wisdom ~ thank you. Namaste.