I am just beginning to reconnect in cyberspace after leaving it alone for 4 whole days.
And while I was gone, I received a lovely email from my Snow Bunny MD friend, Erica, with my new favorite quote.
Relationships are not entitlements, they are blessings.
Amen!
And that is how I feel about all of you…
I have been in such a dreadful, emotional state for the past couple of weeks that I decided it would be a good idea to sit down on the eve of Thanksgiving and write out a list of things I am thankful for. And I’m still sitting here, 10 minutes later and I haven’t added anything to the list. So I sit here, staring at the curtains I have grown to hate and I want to write out a list of at least 5 things that I am thankful for, but still, nothing comes to me in this moment.
For reasons I cannot express here, I am sad, mad, confused, worried and feeling helpless. I don’t want to fly for Thanksgiving tomorrow and I don’t want to sit go around the Thanksgiving table having to say what I’m thankful for. No. Not this year.
Because this year I am not filled with thanks and I have nothing left to give.
So here it is, my 2007 list of Thanksgiving:
My health
My cat
My warm bed
Sunday Dinners
My most wonderful boyfriend
and…
Salty, crunchy snacks that help me chomp away my frustration.
There, I did it.
*I do hope that you have a happy thanksgiving!*
Stuff yourself silly with stuffing.
Because she doesn’t know how to use the computer and therefore may never read this. She gave me my eyes. She’s sensitive and smart. She gives colors fancy names. She’s so generous. She is a cat whisperer. She overcooks broccoli. After dark she does one of two things: 1. Falls asleep 2. Gets giddy and silly with fun. She tries to pretend she doesn’t worry about me. She rearranges items in other people’s homes. She’ll drive 6 hours to see me if I ask her to. She’s very adamant about her dislike for Jack Nicholson and Clint Eastwood. She’ll tell me I need to eat some steak because I look tired. She makes really good sugar drop cookies. She can read a book from cover to cover in just a few hours. She taught me the only way to fold a towel. She misses the kind of movies they made in the 1950s. She has an amazing green thumb. She throws tea parties and everyone comes. She says she doesn’t eat french fries and then she steals mine. She’s so beautiful. When I make a statement she doesn’t agree with she makes a little pout and says “hmp”. And while the list might not ever end, I love my Mom the most for being one of my best friends…
As I mentioned before, I quit drinking soda. It’s true.
If you’ve spent any extended time with me, you know that this is a huge feat. If you knew how many $1.72 charges I have on my debit card from the Jack In The Box behind my work you’d think I was poisoning myself. This $1.72 bought me a ridiculously large cup to fill with one of my two favorites, either Coca-Cola or Dr. Pepper. I would sip it throughout the day to keep me “sane”, to keep me hydrated. Yes, I teach fitness and I was drinking soda instead of water as my main method of hydration. Sick, I know.
Then I bought a pair of
“Colas are NOT a substitute for water. Colas are just another cheap drug made to look great by advertising.”
I decided after my next glass of soda that I would give it up! It’s been 11 days…
I haven’t really craved it until yesterday afternoon, when I had just finished a business lunch and was walking back to my Chicago hotel. I thought, mmmm, Coca-Cola. The sound of the can popping open and the refreshing feeling of carbonated sugar passing over my taste buds suddenly sounded oh so seductive. Luckily there was no mini-mart or fast food joint nearby to tempt me, so I walked all the way back ‘home’, opened the fridge and drank some water…
Who needs all that sugar anyway?
Well, I guess I do, because now I’m eating more candy…dang it.
It may one step at a time toward living a healthier life, but I am proud to be walking that road.
*
Boo! hoo…I’m pouting because it’s Halloween and I don’t have any fun plans. No costume to be worn. No place to celebrate with friends. Just teaching in Chicago…
Seriously. I feel like I’ve hit a wall when it comes to fashion, beauty and style. I used to have fun with clothes and make-up and getting dressed to go places. I feel like I’ve lost my sense of style. I just put on workout clothes, throw my hair up and go. I need a makeover, but I can’t spend a lot of money. Any ideas or thoughts out there from my female friends? (Sorry guys, this isn’t really your issue or expertise, I don’t think. But perhaps I’m wrong?)
Or maybe it’s just that I gave up soda, so I’m going through withdrawl? (10 days!)