Over the weekend I had an “un-birthday” party for myself. (My real birthday is thursday, and I heard it’s unlucky to have a party before your birthday, so I deemed it an un-birthday party)
I sent out (via evite) about 45 invites…and only a few responded “yay”. I spent the week wondering if I should cancel it, move it, or go ahead and have it. I felt sad, frustrated and mad &, of course, worried too much about it. I had let my expectations get too out of control and I thought that if a ton of people didn’t come that it meant it would suck.
Well! To make a long story longer, I threw the party anyway and I had a great, fabulous, sexy time. First, people (9 altogether) came to my apartment where I cooked some veggie lasagna and salad. Then we went to a club in Santa Monica called Zanzibar, where I proceeded to dance the night away! I haven’t danced like that (all night, all sweaty) for almost a year. And it was wonderful…
It just goes to show me that expectations are not reality. But I find it so hard to let them go. I’m the same way in relationships. I expect too much without knowing it, or even meaning to. No wonder I get disappointed.
My new thing is to do my very, very best to let go of expectation and just take what comes. Because that’s all there is…
But it’s so hard.
Ali,
I’m so glad you went out dancing!
I’m so glad you had nine people over for veggie lasagna (hope you saved me a piece.) Personally, i would have to remark that in a region like Los Angeles, and a citylike Santa Monica, you hosted a smashing success of a bash! I mean nine whole people who wanted to come eat, talk, and dance in celebration of you and your brith is a milestone achievement in the land of ‘vegas gettaways, breast implants, ultra-cheese, and “i’ll call you…”
So hurrah! and how wonderful for you love.
I am dedicating this thrusday night’s radio broadcast to you. strictly in honor of your birthday.
i hope you can listen and dance, and dance and dance….
i love you, and i am so glad you were born.
your big brother,
Sunshine
I totally agree…I consider the un-birthday party to be very successful for LA standards. (smile)
I plan to tune in to the Thursday show after my first audition for a play in months and months. (I think I forget how to act–haha)
Love, love,
*a.
happy belated birthday, ali!
i’m glad you threw youself a party!! i wish we could have been there…. but, we love you and sent you birthday kisses all day!!! i hope you got our card and our email “surprise.”
love, moonbeam